"All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I turned someone tried to tell me what it was.  I accepted their answers too, though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory.  I was naïve.  I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I, could answer.  It took me a long time and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with:  that I am nobody but myself." 

~Ralph Ellison, "Battle Royal"

What causes us to have a lack of peace in our lives? I'm musing on this today, as I started my day with a long beautiful walk through the creekside in my neighborhood. So much of my days these last months have been spent lost in being unsure of my place in this world - my purpose, my reason for being.

It's interesting to me how again and again we as a whole tend to place so much of who we are into what we do. And it's concerning to me because here I am, knowing on the one hand how ridiculous that is, and yet feeling that way in spite of the knowing.

How do I shut that out? At what point do I need to reach before the light goes on and I am simply grateful for being in this place, a place that not many get to have? Each day I am met with choices of what I want to create, who I want to communicate with, how I want to meet my day. A gift indeed, I know this. So where does the angst come from?

I have always been a person of doing...go-go-go. I am not a person used to sitting still, I'll admit that openly. In the last 2 years however, I've had the opportunity, if not the choice, to build into me as an individual, as a woman, a wife, a friend. Perhaps I've taken advantage of the time, wasted it by feeling this horrendous useless guilt for no longer go-go-going...

I think what I need to do is simply BE. In gratitude. Peace comes in the acceptance of ones self. In accepting who I am, for who I am, not what I do, I can find the peace I'm searching for. And in the peace, I will be able to finally hear the still small voice that reminds me of who I am, what I'm made for, and the purpose in in the midst of all of that.

Purpose is in each moment where you meet yourself in the mirror each day. It's in the new faces you come across in your journey, where you have the opportunity to let them be seen in a smile, a hello, a simple connection. It's in the way you decide to love, to laugh, to breathe, to enjoy the blessings you have in your life, for all they are and all they offer.

The bottom line is, while life might not look or feel or act the way you want it to, expect it to, it's your life. Deal with it. Take it for what it is and enjoy what it is for you TODAY. Right now. and if you can get that figured out, all the rest will fall into place, the peace, the happiness, a sense of contentedness that makes this need for purpose seem less important.

Purpose is not in the DOING. I think it's in the BEING. This is my take away today. I'm going to focus on this today and then tomorrow I'll make the choice to focus on this once again and hopefully, day after day, this will eventually become a habit in such a way that it becomes a part of who I am, without effort.

"If you cannot be a poet, be the poem." ~David Carradine

Thanks for taking the journey with me and hopefully there is some take away for you in this as well. Here's to the BEING.

This morning my husband and I were discussing the idea of positive thinking verses negative thinking and I found myself spending some time musing on this once again. Oh yes, I've done this before and while the subject is seemingly clear cut, as time passes on and experience teaches wisdom, here I am, sharing with all of you my thoughts on this today.

Does positive thinking equal success?

It's an interesting ideal, as one must first perhaps, understand what it means to be positive in the first place. My husband does not call me positive. He in fact, prefers to call me naive, albeit sweetly so. The concern here is my naivete' cause me to not see the world so clearly and so it must mean that I am deluded, choosing to be blind to the realities of this world.

Now my husband, true to life's cosmic sense of humor, is in fact, my complete opposite. We're a perfect match in the well rounded sense. But the kicker here, is that I, the ever optimist, married and committed to someone who is quite honestly, quite negative. Now he will tell you he is not negative. He will say instead, that he is a realist. And maybe he is. Maybe he sees the world quite clearly through his glasses while I choose to walk around this thing called life with my polarized Ray-bans, seeing everything in the most incredibly flattering light.

Who is better off? Who is the successful one here?

POSITIVE - having a good effect : favorable <a positive role model> b : marked by optimism <the positive point of view> indicating, relating to, or characterized by affirmation, addition, inclusion, or presence rather than negation, withholding, or absence ~Marriam-Webster.com

NEGATIVE - lacking positive qualities; especially : disagreeable b : marked by features of hostility, withdrawal, or pessimism that hinder or oppose constructive treatment or development <a negative outlook> <negative criticism> ~ Marriam-Webster.com

My positive outlook is seen as naive to one who is seeing himself as a realist. I choose to see myself as hopeful in a seemingly hopeless world. By placing my focus on what is more admirable, possible, achievable, what harm am I doing to myself or to others? Wouldd this world be better off believing the worst in others, only seeing what is wrong verses what is actually still working, placing focus on the problem...

And there is the kicker.

Is it possible that solutions to problems can be found more readily from a realist perspective or an optimistic one? For example, how would a realist choose to handle losing their job? How would the optimist handle it?

Where does success lie?

I can't help it, my optimistic, naive, dreamer, positive self MUST believe that the person who chooses to see in the possible can indeed be successful. That when you choose to look at life in a way that hope resounds, trust exists, nothing is impossible and life is meant to be learned from...success follows in close pursuit, no?

My husband allows me to see a perspective that does not come naturally to me and I like it, because I learn from it. But it also makes me sad. We live in a world now that is quite self centered, self serving, distrusting, dishonest, violent and angry, depressed and hiding in an abyss of self hatred and loathing...We need to step up and believe in tomorrow, that we can make each day new, that we can make a difference if we just step up, that one person is still better than none at all, that believing is better than not believing and having hope gives others the opportunity to hope with you...There is power in that. And I think that is success in a nut shell.

It might be naive of me to think all this...but can I afford to be anything else?

Thoughts on this debateable subject, as always, are welcome.  

I hope you have a very positive day, full of possibility and hope for the future. Make it count.

I've been thinking alot lately about the heart, and how we take strides to protect our hearts without even knowing it.

What is it about our lives, the day to day paths we take, the experiences we have, that make us put walls up around our hearts? And in doing so, are we really protecting ourselves from hurt, or are we actually just hurting ourselves more by trying to protect our hearts from the mere possiblity of getting hurt again?

I've discovered that in order for us to grow beyond whatever hurt we have experienced in the past, we need to leave that hurt where it belongs, in the past, and move forward. By doing so, we can be free from a fear that can truly hold us back from living the kind of life we're meant to live.

When we hide in fear, those walls of protection all around us in the disguide of defensiveness, humour, selfishness, or just checking out, I believe we are unable to grow in who we are meant to be and serve as we are meant to serve in this world. I also believe that little by little, those walls smother us and shrink us down to the point that we no longer have the ability to discern ourselves. We may desire change, but have no way of actually making change because we become so small and scared. We strong, confident, beautiful beings in essence are reduced to a ball curled up on the floor, getting kicked around by life that is happening all around us. Can we truly desire our lives to be lived out in such a way? I can't think so. So then, how do we free ourselves from it?

I really feel we are, all around us, surrounded by loving friendship and support. We are not meant to live this life alone. This is why we have family, why we build friendships, why we long for community and relationship. What we need to remember though, is what those relationships need to be at times. Accountable, loving, open and honest and daring to speak out to eachother in a way where we can be challenged and desire to change and grow - together. Like reaching your hand down to that curled up ball and helping them on their feet, so must we challenge eachother to look at ourselves truly in the mirror and see our potential, our hope and our future. The past is there as a reminder only to serve us in learning. It's not meant to be held on to, at times even ferociously. When we let the past go and move boldly one step at a time forward, we can be truly free and we become alive once again, wiser and more hopeful.

I've mused enough for one day, but I'd love to know your thoughts on this, and if you feel like you are a person living and trapped by the past and your fears, or someone who has been there, done that, and took those bold strides to step out, step up and step ahead.

Be in this moment, live it the best you can be and love on someone else today with an open heart. That ability will change the relationships around you and be a light where at times there is no light. And we all grow in light, don't we...

So many times in our life we are met with challenge.

It shows up in all kinds of ways. It can cut us to our core. It can even appear to break us.

It’s not about the challenge. It’s never about the challenge. But the challenge deceives us. It makes us think it’s important. That it matters. But the challenge doesn’t matter. It’s only one aspect to life. How else do we learn? How else do we grow? How else do we persevere?

It’s not the challenge that matters. It’s what you DO with the challenge that matters. How you respond to it, choose to build on it or fight it, or step around it.

In ‘Remember the Titans’ a team was built on shaky foundation but was built up to be unshakable and uncompromising. An interconnectedness and strength that was immovable. It wasn’t easy. They were alone in a multitude of haters. But they persevered. How?

One thing that comes to my mind is the power of TEAM. We are stronger by the numbers. Because it is when you are weak that another comes in to make you strong. That when you are afraid, someone can come along and offer you the courage to carry on, with their hand in yours. We were created to connect and support one another. And it’s when we connect and support one another that we are unbeatable!

As you think about the challenges in your life, you might be met by fear, guilt, uncertainty, grief, insecurity, a lack of strength or knowledge; you may have no idea where to turn to!

Now look around your life. Look at your family. Look at your friends. Your co-workers. The mentors in your life. Those you might even look up to, but never spend time with or perhaps you don’t even know them personally.

All around you, there lays connection. Like the journey of life, yours is a road that rises and falls, carries rocks and rivers, wide and  winding just when you got used to the straight and narrow. And on your road, you will find you come along all kinds of intersections along the way, both short and long. Those intersections are there for you, offering you choice, new beginnings, new findings.

You are NEVER ALONE! Every road, every rock, every mountain and waterfall in the journey of your life is there to serve you, support you, challenge you. But you don’t ever have to do it alone.

Remember to see those around you that are in your life and let them be there for you. When challenges arise, and they will, reach out. Draw them close. And do not EVER give in to the challenge. There is purpose in everything that shows up in your life. How will you allow challenge to grow the person you are today?

We cannot hold a torch to light another's path without brightening our own.

~Ben Sweetland

Whenever you doubt yourself, remember. Remember the Titans.

I've been musing on JOY lately.As I connect with so many women in and around my day to day world, I'm finding out that many of do not even remember the concept of what JOY is anymore.

Joy is not in things; it is in us. ~Richard Wagner

When asking 'When was the last time you experienced real joy in your life', many sent me messages that included,

- 'Joy, what's joy?'

- 'I think it's something you feel for a moment on Christmas morning right?'

- 'My children experience and offer me joy every day'.

- 'Joy isn't realistic'

- 'You need to make joy in your life each day, it doesn't just make itself'.

What comes to your mind when you ponder the idea of JOY in your life? Is it just an idea? Do you experience it at all? And do you look for joy in your life?

I'm pondering this idea of how when we purposefully choose to look for certain things in our life, does this mean we find it, experience it, control our lives more because of it?

AND CAN WE LIVE WITHOUT JOY??

So many people today believe that the idea of joy is over rated or that it's too dramatic or emotional a feeling to have. I can't help but wonder how this works as we live to simply be satified. At what point does being satisfied just not cut it?

There could be a balance between the two. That when we simplify our life, remove the clutter that holds us back in the many forms, we can then have the sight, the capacity to find joy that is waiting to be discovered in and all around our lives. Because more and more today we fill every moment of our lives with the tasks at hand, the financial commitments that take front and centre of our hours, zoning out in front of the television, running to and from the demands of all the commitments we make in our schedules...it seems never ending. What are we living for? What are we living towards?

Practicing the act of experiencing joy in our life each can

- increase our capacity for everything we hold in our lives

- improve our relationships

- decrease our level of stress

- improve our overall health

- improve your overall happiness

- increase your ability to laugh

- create more of a positive outlook on life

And I'm sure we can think of more.

So today, I'm challenging you to consider looking for joy in your life. It really is all around you, just waiting to be discovered and held, experienced and lived out.

“Joy is the feeling of grinning inside.” ~Melba Colgrove

DEFINITIONS OF "JOY"

http://www.thefreedictionary.com/joy